Take It or Leave It
I am gonna keep this short and simple.
For some reason, many people such as family or close family friends, have abandoned me during the hardest time of my life. I am talking - they haven't even picked up their phone to call, text, or FB message to ask how I am. I don't know what the excuse is - but my future with my children is a happy one. And they are going to be like the people I surround myself with - people who love unconditionally.
My friendship/love/caring - take it or leave it. But don't expect me to be the person I was in the past, that you could just dump all of your problems or children on, and I'd pick up the pieces.
I am a wonderful, caring person.... I care TOO MUCH... and my heart has been trampled on by many. So, I won't let anyone take advantage of my goodness ever again.
Also, PLEASE stop FB messaging me your unsolicited advice; please stop FB messaging me weird pick up lines about how hanging out with you will make my worries go away.... obviously, you have no concept of what I've lost this past year. Sorry, your presence will not make me miss my children any less, or make my life any easier. Just stop it. Unless you are my friend... then of course I welcome your advice. And if you are 20 years old, please, find someone your age.
Back to life in general "aka purgatory/limbo" for me right now... I'm trying to do one thing only and that is give my girls a good childhood. And so I have many decisions coming in the future, but until divorce, etc. proceed farther I'm stuck in "hell" as I call it. The opposite is "heaven" which is when I'm with my girls. Tomorrow will be one of those days.
I saw my 2 Aunts and Grandparents today, and I sat and thought it will be 2 years since Mom died very soon.... I'd of never imagined my life being like this right now.
First in music today.... a song totally off topic, but it reminds me of Ace of Base, and it has Alexander Skarsgard one of the sexiest men alive, so let's start there. Well, let's admire Alexander first. This is a big reason I miss True Blood. I don't get crushes. Except- Richard Gere, Robert Redford & Alexander Skarsgard.
Lady Gaga - "Paparazzi"
"We are the crowd We're c-coming out Got my flash on it's true Need that picture of you It's so magical We'd be so fantastical Leather and jeans We're rock glamorous Not sure what it means But this photo of us It don't have a price Ready for those flashing lights Cause you know that baby I [Chorus] I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me Papa-paparazzi Baby there's no other superstar You know that I'll be Your papa-paparazzi Promise I'll be kind But I won't stop until that boy is mine Baby you'll be famous Chase you down until you love me Papa-paparazzi I'll be a girl backstage at your show Velvet ropes and guitars Yeah 'cause you're my Rockstar in between the sets Eyeliner and cigarettes Shadow is burnt Yellow dance and we turn My lashes are dry Purple teardrops I cry it don't have a price Loving you is cherry pie 'Cause you know that baby I [Chorus] Real good (We're dancing in the studio) Snap snap to (That shit on the radio) Don't stop (For anyone) We're plastic but we still have fun! [Chorus]"
Great Good Fine Ok - "Take It or Leave It"
"Baby you should know by now that I'm right, for you.
But every time I step to you, you change
Your tune.
Sweet wheel of death keeps us holding our breath
I step to the right, you move to the left.
Unless no one else.
I'd rather die to myself.
Oh why, won't you make up your mind?
I think I must confess.
I'm starting to unwind.
I been trippin' over you.
So tell me something new.
Take it or leave it.
Maybe I should pack my things and move on?
Maybe I'm foolin' myself and you're already gone?
Watching the flames wither and fade.
Trying to make sense of the look on your face.
I'm down on my knees
Just prayin' that I can hold on.
Oh why, won't you make up your mind?
I think I must confess.
I'm learning to unwind.
I've been trippin' over you.
So tell me something new.
Take it or leave it.
Baby please.
Oh baby please.
Stay with me or cut me free.
It's all of me.
Oh why, won't you make up your mind?
I think I must confess.
I'm starting to unwind.
I been trippin' over you.
So tell me something new.
Take it or leave it.
Take it or leave it"
Tori Kelly - "Hollow"
"[Verse 1] I don't wanna be the last man standing I don't wanna be the lonely one Picking petals when the party's over No, it's not any fun [Pre-Chorus] Cause I'm fragile And you know this [Chorus] So hold me Wrap me in love, fill up my cup Empty and only your love can fill up my cup Cause I'm hollow Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh Cause I'm hollow Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh [Verse 2] I don't wanna be the first one folding I don't wanna be the joker heart Tell me, darling, will you understand me? And not show me your cards? [Pre-Chorus] Cause I'm paper-thin And you, you make me whole again [Chorus] So hold me Wrap me in love, fill up my cup Empty and only your love can fill up my cup Cause I'm hollow Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh Cause I'm hollow Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh [Bridge] I confess (yeah), my weakness Til you pick up the parts that are broken Pour out your perfection on me now [Chorus] And hold me Wrap me in love, fill up my cup Empty, cause only your love can fill up my cup So hold me Wrap me in love, fill up my cup Empty and only your love can fill up my cup Cause I'm hollow Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh Cause I'm hollow Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh Cause I'm hollow (yeah) Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh (oh yeah) Cause I'm hollow (I'm hollow) Yeah, I'm hollow, oh oh oh"
Chainsmokers - "Roses"
"[Verse]
Taking it slow, but it's not typical
He already knows that my love is fire
His heart was a stone, but then his hands roam
I turned him to gold and it took him higher
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, I'll be your daydream, I'll wear your favorite things
We could be beautiful
Get drunk on the good life, I'll take you to paradise
Say you'll never let me go
[Chorus]
Deep in my bones, I can feel you
Take me back to a time when only we knew
Hideaway
We could waste the night with an old film
Smoke a little weed on my couch in the back room
Hideaway
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go
[Post-Chorus]
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go
[Chorus]
Deep in my bones, I can feel you
Take me back to a time when only we knew
Hideaway
We could waste the night with an old film
Smoke a little weed on my couch in the back room
Hideaway
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go
[Post-Chorus]
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go
Say you'll never let me go"
Sia - "Bird Set Free"
"[Verse 1]
Clipped wings, I was a broken thing
Had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing
You would wind me down
I struggled on the ground
So lost, the line had been crossed
Had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk
You held me downI struggle to fly now
[Bridge]
But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, we cannot deny
Eats us alive, oh it eats us alive
Yes, there's a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die, no
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
[Chorus]
I'm not gon' care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I shout it out like a bird set free
No I don't care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
[Verse 2]
Now I fly, hit the high notes
I have a voice, have a voice, hear me roar tonight
You held me down
But I fought back loud
[Bridge]
But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, we cannot deny
Eats us alive, oh it eats us alive
Yes, there's a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die, no
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
[Chorus]
I'm not gon' care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I shout it out like a bird set free
No I don't care if I sing off key
I find myself in my melodies
I sing for love, I sing for me
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free
I'll shout it out like a bird set free"
Zara Larsson - "Lush Life"
"I live my day as if it was the last Live my day as if there was no past Doin' it all nite, all summer Doin' it the way I wanna Yeah I’mma dance my heart out ’til the dawn But I won’t be done when morning comes Doin' it all nite, all summer Gonna spend it like no other It was a crush But I couldn’t, couldn’t get enough It was a rush But I gave it up It was a crush Now I might have went and said too much But that’s all it was So I gave it up I live my day as if it was the last Live my day as if there was no past Doin' it all nite, all summer Doin' it the way I wanna Yeah I’mma dance my heart out ’til the dawn But I won’t be done when morning comes Doin' it all nite, all summer Gonna spend it like no other It was a crush I kept saying I’mma stay in touch But that thing went bust So I gave it up No tricks, no bluff I’m just better off without them cuffs Yeah the sun won’t set on us Went low, went high Still waters run dry Gotta get back in the groove I ain’t ever worry Went low, went high What matters is now Getting right back in the mood I live my day as if it was the last Live my day as if there was no past Doin' it all nite, all summer Doin' it the way I wanna Yeah I’mma dance my heart out ’til the dawn But I won’t be done when morning comes Doin' it all nite, all summer Gonna spend it like no other Now I've found another crush The lush life's given me a rush Had one chance to make me blush Second time is one too late Now I've found another crush The lush life's given me a rush Had one chance to make me blush Second time is one too late I live my day as if it was the last Live my day as if there was no past Doin' it all nite, all summer Doin' it the way I wanna Yeah I’mma dance my heart out ’til the dawn But I won’t be done when morning comes Doin' it all nite, all summer Gonna spend it like no other Now I've found another crush The lush life's given me a rush Had one chance to make me blush Second time is one too late Now I've found another crush The lush life's given me a rush Had one chance to make me blush Second time is one too late"
Rihana - "Rehab"
"Baby, baby When we first met, I never felt something so strong You were like my lover and my best friend All wrapped in one with a ribbon on it And all of a sudden you went and left I didn't know how to follow It's like a shock that spun me around And now my heart's dead I feel so empty and hollow And I never gave myself to another the way I gave it to you You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you? It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back And you're the one to blame And now I feel like Oh, you're the reason why I'm thinking I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking I should've never let you enter my door Next time you wanna go on and leave I should just let you go on and do it 'Cause now I'm using like I bleed [Chorus] It's like I checked into rehab And, baby, you're my disease It's like I checked into rehab And, baby, you're my disease I gotta check into rehab 'Cause, baby, you're my disease I gotta check into rehab 'Cause, baby, you're my disease Damn, ain't it crazy when you're love swept? You'd do anything for the one you love 'Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there It's like you were my favorite drug The only problem is that you was using me In a different way than I was using you But now that I know it's not meant to be It gotta go, I gotta wean myself off of you And I never gave myself to another the way I gave it to you You don't even recognize the way you hurt me, do you? It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back And you're the one to blame 'Cause now I feel like Oh, you're the reason why I'm thinking I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking I should've never let you enter my door Next time you wanna go on and leave I should just let you go on and do it 'Cause now I'm using like I bleed [Chorus] (Uh, uh, now, ladies, gimme that) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh (Uh, now gimme that) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh (My ladies, gimme that) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh (Uh, now gimme that) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, you're the reason why I'm thinking I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking I should've never let you enter my door Next time you wanna go on and leave I should just let you go on and do it 'Cause now I'm using like I bleed [Chorus]"
Nelly - "The Fix" (Feat. Jeremih)